- My final thesis statement was ” If we embrace virtual communication, we will learn more about each other and ourselves.” I think this is a strong thesis because it makes a clear statement of “if” “then”. I think it might be a little weak when put into context of my essay since i didnt do much to actually back this specific statement up, while it was implied, I didn’t explicitly describe it.
- While writing my first paper I was poorly reminded of my inability to “dig deeper.” In my writing I find myself doing a lot of paraphrasing because in my head the connection is clear, but to the reader it isn’t. This is something I need to work on.
- Most of my revisions focused on my transitions between paragraphs. I attempted to make most of my paragraphs begin with a claim, but found it hard to do so. I think I made my intro strong, and did a good job of mentioning both articles while also keeping my own claim and voice on the stage.
- On paper #2 I think I will focus more on including my own experiences and claims because I have trouble stating opinions sometimes, and I think that’s the weakest point of my first essay.
