Skylar: For me this was a story of an astronaut sent into deep space to save Earth, dying with the realization that Earth is likely gone and there is nothing he can do about it. I really enjoyed the dialogue between Percy and Alex, I thought it was humorous and strategic. I do feel like there is more to Percy’s character that I think you can expand to add perhaps another meaning to his existence, and also answer some more questions about Alex’s life prior to being sent into space, or whatever else you wish to reveal instead. I also thought Percy’s “death” happened too abruptly, and in a way that was a little difficult to decipher. I think his “death” needs a bit more context.

Kenzie– This is a story I would describe as a “feel-good” story, a story of unlikely/unexpected friendship at a time when both characters needed someone. I think there are some missing elements here, and I think the reader connection to the characters could be made stronger if there was some more background context included about the characters lives- specifically how they both ended up in this cave at the same time. I thought the beginning of the story was very gripping, but almost doesn’t fit well with the rest of the story. The dramatic beginning leaves anticipation for something more to happen, which is fine if that’s how you envision the story, but I would consider editing the beginning to create a similar feel for the entire story, or add some more dramatic elements later on. The character dialogue was really natural and fluid, so I enjoyed that aspect very much.

Lizzie: I thought your story of a merman archeologist, determined, driven, to learn about humans is so fertile. By that I mean, you have SO MUCH to explore. The difficulty is keeping it within a container, which I believe you did swimmingly. There are some logistical concerns I have regarding life under water, such as how the traffic works, or how there are lanterns under water. I love how you described the cavern paintings, and how you showed the reader how meaningful these discoveries are to Stephan without having to explicitly say it. I love exploring the idea of a world after humans, which is what you have done here. I wonder what it is about humans that are so enchanting for Stephan, and what has inspired him to devote his life to learning them.

Brady: In your story you have created two main protagonists who are both interesting and complex. Adding the mythological ties adds a special component to your story that you can do a lot with. I think you left some components untouched, leaving a sense of wanting more from the reader. The dialogue you created between Oliver and Isaac was natural and lovely; I could feel their connection. I would love to get more insight into their past with flashbacks to the defining moments of their relationship. I think the story begins too early in the day, and I would like to see more focus on the date itself.

Sophie: This story of a young girl overcoming her fear and giving in to gravity I found to be really impactful. In the beginning of this story I am afraid for this girl, I am caring for her and relating to her. I think that is a really great way to start a story. A page and a half in, I am relieved of some of my anxiety when it’s explained that she is on a bridge with her “brothers”. This is a kind of where the story shifts and more about the girl is revealed. I love how aware your character is- how she questions life and herself. I enjoy the contrast between Nina and the boys, and how the boy’s freeness accentuates Nina’s stiffness. I would like to gain more insight into Nina’s past, how she has evolved into the girl facing her fear and eventually overcoming.

Jenna: I really enjoyed the tension and drama created in this story that’s on the verge of being a love story. The two characters you have created have a strong fabricated relationship- his fear of vulnerability and honesty pairs with her anxious attachment and worry to make for a complicated relationship in which there is a lot to work from. The dual perspective also adds a unique element, and enhances these character differences. I think there is something untouched/missing between these 2 characters. I would love to see you add another element, perhaps a love element, or some history between them, good or bad.

Mackie: This story begins in a really strong place- lots of emotion and tension right off the bat. I am instantly drawn into Flo and Lincoln’s story- I am curious about them. I enjoy how you made the setting of the story primarily nighttime- it feels thematic and adds an element of secrecy. I like the self-awareness of Flo- she wants to be seen as a good person, not a “homewrecker” but has still found herself caught between another relationship, and so she battles with an internal guilt that feels very real and relatable. I am curious to know more about Angela and Lincoln’s dynamic, and what things were like between Lincoln and Flo before Angela came into the picture, how Angela changed the dynamic, and how the relationship between Link and Angela lasted 3 years.

Bridget: This love story between the Sun and Moon is tragically beautiful. I really enjoy the feminine personification of both entities, I think it adds a softer element to the love story. From the very beginning you use captivating imagery that has a poetic tone and feels very in-line with the type of story you’re telling. The character Hamish serves as a voice of reason, and also a connecter for the human forms of sun and moon, and I think he is an equally important character. I feel as though the meeting of Sun and Moon happens a little quickly, I would like to see this meetup have more buildup. A question I have is how sun and moon both knew to become human to find one another as they had no real form of conversation while in their natural form. I also feel like there’s a greater potential here for the dialogue between sun and moon. Their moment together felt rushed, and I didn’t quite understand why sun wanted to leave moon so quickly after just finding each other. It left me wanting more.

Kit: I think your story of a young girl being left home alone for the first time works well in the 3rd person POV, given the age of the character. I enjoy the character you have created, she longs for independence and is driven to prove herself worthy of it. She has also faced adversity and challenges in her life being transgender. This opens up many doors for character expansion. The situation with the ants is ironic, and also reveals a lot about the character’s passions, morals, and how she values life. The relationship between the character and her ants is a powerful one. I love the theme of “loving the unloveable” and I felt my heart break alongside the character when she had to make the impossible choice to kill the ants that had escaped. I would like to know more about the character’s transitional journey and her mom.

Izzy: I like how this story plays off the idea of “fate,” like this artist was meant to see this girl in the park on this day. I wish there was some more layers to this idea, why her? Or maybe the point is that sometimes life doesn’t give us those kinds of answers, and I like that too. this female character provides most of the story tension- we want to know why she is here, how she is feeling, etc, and you do a good job of enhancing this tension. You capture a strong sense of “the life of an artist”, in how they are always finding beauty in the things around them. I like the character Al, but I think he is capable of more. I would like to see some kind of conversation with Al about the girl, or about the character’s thoughts in general. I like the introduction of the young child, I think kids have many unique perspectives to offer and you use the “carefree” nature of the girl really well to contrast your main character. I think the ending has a nice tie, and I like how you play with the idea that life keeps moving, and now the artist is on to the next story.

Cole: This story took me for quite a trip, and in a good way! There are so many layers of details, so many overlying themes to process. I really enjoy the setting and plot you have created. The beginning I think should be shortened up and spread throughout the action, to make more room for the ending, as it left me with some questions and could use some neatening up. In general, the fast pace of the story adds to its tension and is consistent with the tone. I thought your descriptions were clear and concise, with a trippy, dark, mysterious element that kept me intrigued.

Cammy: I really enjoy the tensions you have created within your story. It feels rich with possibility. I think the conversations between Ryan and Jen could use more substance, and I would like to see a glimpse of their past life together, before the miscarriage and the problems. Overall, I enjoy your descriptions, and I think adding even more about the woods and its eeriness could really sell the whole “creepy woods” vibe you’re going for. I’m curious to see how you end this! I am curious what the metaphor for the fox and wolf is, if there is any at all.

Gracie: The ocean is a very symbolic and powerful thing and you use this fully to your advantage. There’s parallel between the ocean storm and the inner turmoil of each of the character’s- Devyn who is the storm, and Winter who is learning to survive within it. Throughout the story we get to learn more about Winter than Devyn, and while she is the fascination of Devyn, I think he deserves some of his story told too. Why is he pessimistic? Why does he view the world the way he does? Just some questions to consider. Other than that I think your descriptions were breathtaking and you have a lot of poetic elements that make a fun and soulful read.

Scott: The beginning of the story moves a little slowly, until we get to the bus scene where I think most of the action occurs. We learn a lot about your character through the way he perceives and reflects on other’s- I would like to learn more about his past, some more about his girlfriend and what their life was like.

Alex: This was an incredible story of transformation, battle, and bravery. There is so much to like about this story. Lou has a strong sense of character- she goes beyond simply being ill, she is a complex and multi dimensional character that I have so many feelings for by the end. Your descriptions are so intense, and so real. You paint a beautiful picture of what it is to battle your own mind. The dragon is symbolic of her fight, her illness, her children’s imagination, and this line of what is real, and what is imaginary. Often in mental illness, people will tell you “it’s in your head”, “it’s not real”, so the dragon is symbolic of more than an illness, it’s also symbolic of the stigma of illness. I think your scene skips were placed perfectly as well.

Teresa: I think you have a great foundation for a story here. Your main character is caught in this absurd, unexpected predicament in which fear and anxiety totally take over her reasoning skills. I would like there to be some more time spent on this event in which she buries a man alive, after swearing to help him. I wonder if there could be more connection here, like if the man was someone important, someone she knows, or simply reminds her of anyone. I think this kind of connection would intensify your story. There are some believability issues here, like why she had a shovel in her trunk, how another car didn’t see her car, how there was no blood on her car, and those kind of logistical things.

Mia: Your restaurant theme feels so genuine and authentic throughout the story. I love your word play with kitchen terms, even the title, or how Trevor talks about his love boiling over like a stew. In general, cooking is rather romantic, intimate, and the chefs in a kitchen work in a harmonious dance. It adds a lot of dynamic to your piece that I particularly enjoy. I can hear the sounds of the bustling kitchen in my head while I picture Trevor sneaking looks at Jack. The buildup to the story is ultimately a disappointment as Trevor does not “get” Jack, or the promotion. I like this because there’s clearly still a connection between Jack and Trevor which leads room in the future for potential. Alongside that, Trevor is also not denied the promotion entirely, just not awarded it on this night. I love stories with open endings like this one.

Jordyn: For me, this is a story of destined fate; of two people who were brought together under strange circumstances. I enjoy the chemistry and flirtation between Jasper and the main character. I think their connection is good, but could be made stronger. I think making these 2 characters know each other before she winds up at his house during the snow storm could add an interesting element. It could be more fun if they already had a backstory. I think the tension the girl has with her parents is very relatable, and I like how Jasper sympathizes with her, but also tells her the reality that she’s too old to not be independent- we all need friends like that.

Kenzi: This is a story of departure, loss, and learning to exist by yourself after losing someone important to you. I liked how accepting the character was about her friend leaving, but I kind of need more of a reaction, more emotion, before she accepts it. I would consider making it to so both characters are aware of her departure, and then make this story about their last night together. This would feel more realistic for me, personally.

Sophie: I think your story begins in a perfect moment, we are immediately introduced with the mother/daughter tension, and introduced to the rabbit, a key piece to the story. I think your story captures a young girl carrying guilt over the death of her childhood friend, coming to the realization many years later that no one blames her for what happened. I think this is a great story, and I love how you set this up to take place. I wonder if 3 years is too much time for the main character to have held onto this weight.

Skyler: I thoroughly enjoy the enemy to lover’s trope of the story. I think your characterization is strong, and the dialogue between your characters is natural, funny, and creates a unique atmosphere for a friendship to bloom. I thought the fire kind of came out of nowhere, but I also appreciate the events of the story and how they stack onto each other. I wonder if the boys are meant to fall in love.

Brady: I thought your story of a rebellion, of two girls determining their own fate, and choosing to leave their home is a great foundation in which an impactful story can emerge. I loved the character’s relationship, and the scene where they solidified their decision by cutting each others hair in the bathroom. The ending left me disappointed, as I kind of would like to know more about why the girls are choosing to leave, and what their plan is from here.

Jenna: This story was super relatable and even left me with a twing of jealousy at the end of how Bree found her friends. I enjoyed how you set up the meeting of the characters- it felt authentic and legitimate (aka not forced). I was thrown off when Harrison introduced his girlfriend, as it seemed him and Bree had an almost flirty connection. I would like to see more specific scenes where Harrison and Carmen really change Bree’s mind about leaving, this part felt a little artificial to me.

Izzy: I thought this was a beautiful story of acceptance and grief after losing someone to suicide. Having been in this situation before, I felt like your character needed more anger, more grief, and less acceptance until the end. Your prose was lovely, and I think you really know how to capture grief and pain with your words.

Mackie: I think your story of a young girl battling cancer meeting her best friend in the hospital and then losing her to her disease was told very beautifully. I loved the prose and some of the quotes you wrote. I wish there was more development of the girls’ relationship, and I think her death came a little soon, but I love the structure of your story and can see it transforming into something very impactful.